I've been a big fan of The Walking Dead since the start. But the season seven premier was too much for me. Hacking away at zombies is one thing. Hacking away at beloved characters is quite another. I guess I've had my fill of gruesome violence. I can't bring myself to watch it anymore.

Are you as tired of gruesome zombie shows as I am? Good news, there's a totally new take on the zombie theme! iZombie. And it's absolutely worth watching.

Brought to you by Rob Thomas, who is also known for Veronica Mars (another show I loved back in the day), iZombie is the opposite of The Walking Dead in nearly every way. The main character, Liv Moore (Rose McIver), is a smart, sweet, sexy, bad ass - zombie. Yes! You read that right!

Liv is a medical student on the cusp of a brilliant career as a doctor when she is tragically turned into a zombie at a party one fateful night. But after some trial and error, she learns how to control it. She goes to work in a morgue as a coroner's assistant where she has easy access to brains.

But Liv doesn't eat brains the way you would expect a zombie eating brains. NO! She gets creative with her meal preparation and every meal is different. Sauteed into pastas, ground into burgers, put on top of pizza. And always with lots of hot sauce!

As a zombie, Liv has certain abilities you would expect a zombie to have such as super strength and the ability to heal quickly. But she also has a very unexpected ability: every time she eats a brain she has visions of the deceased person's final days and she temporarily inherits the personality of the deceased. In one episode she eats the brain of a murdered college frat boy. You can imagine the hijinks that ensue! In another she eats the brain of a murdered sexy housewife. And in yet another she eats the brain of a martial arts expert. Liv is a different personality in each episode and it's a lot of fun to watch her transformations.

Liv's only hope and her new life mission is using her zombie super powers for good. She teams up with a detective under the guise of being a psychic and helps the police catch bad guys with her visions.

The supporting characters in this show are just as delightful to watch as Liv. Liv's boss, Ravi Chakrabarti (Rahul Kohli), is a smoking hot and incredibly funny character (probably my favorite character after Liv), and he is the first to discover that Liv is a zombie. Ravi is excited to learn that zombies do exist and he works with Liv to help hide her secret and to find a cure.

Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) is Liv's police officer partner. He doesn't know Liv's secret and he seems perplexed by her ever changing personalities but he respects her abilities to help him solve cases. Their partnership is described in the show as "Cagney and Pasty."

Liv's main love interest is Major Lilywhite (Robert Buckley) a sexy as hell youth counselor turned zombie hunter. Liv and Major have an on again, off again love affair and you can't help but route for these two love birds to make it.

Blaine DeBeers (David Anders) is a the bad guy in this show but he is a surprisingly likeable villain. Although he is greedy and power hungry and he does some terrible things to people, his backstory is so tragic and relatable that you can't help but feel sorry for him. And sometimes he seems so conflicted, on the verge of making the right choice, that you can't help but route for him to find his way and become one of the good guys.

There are many other wonderful characters and well known actors and actresses in iZombie, most notably Veronica Mars alum Enrico Colanto who plays vice detective Lou Benedetto in season two! Awesome sauce!

iZombie is a great alternative to the typical gory zombie shows out there. It's original, smart, funny, and addicting and I highly recommend it. Two seasons are out on Netflix now so you can get caught up during the holidays in preparation for season three coming Tuesday April 4, 2017 on the CW.

Ok! So I don't really have 30,000 reasons to read 30,000 B.C. Chronicles! But here are three really excellent reasons to give this series a try:

Bored with all the same old shows on TV lately? Wondering if there is anything exciting and new to watch? Good news! There is!

I just discovered an amazing new show called Stranger Things, a Netflix original, and I want to help the rest of the world discover it too! Right now you can binge watch the entire first season in preparation for the second season, coming next year.

What is this Stranger Things show, you ask? It's part Stephen King creepy, scary fun. It's part Twilight Zone what the heck is happening here fun. And it's part Goonie's crazy kids running around saving the world fun!

Who doesn't love that combination???

Here are 13 reasons why you NEED to watch Stranger Things:

1. Winona Ryder - Winona Ryder blows the socks off the role of Joyce Byers, a neurotic, anxious, stressed out single mother of two boys in Stranger Things. Her younger boy goes missing. And then strange things start happening. Winona is so much fun to watch. My favorite scene of hers was when she went to buy Christmas lights in the store she worked at before her son went missing. You're going to love her character! She is a loving, hard working, loyal and fiercely protective mother. She deserves to win some awards for her performance.

2. The Boys - Frustrated with the adults in their town, the three best friends of the missing boy begin their own investigation. Dustan, Lucas and Mike are each very different but very good friends who must face both inner and outer turmoil as they search for their friend Will. Nerdy, brilliant, brave and kind, these boys ride around town on their BMX bikes chasing down clues and solving the case Goonies style.

3. Eleven - Millie Bobby Brown plays Eleven, the bad ass star of the show, a young frightened girl who escapes from an experimental government facility. Eleven doesn't speak much and she has strange telekinetic powers. Each episode offers new clues as to who she is. She grows more and more powerful and confident as she bonds with the boys and helps them find their friend. But you are still left wondering; how did she get her powers to begin with and what exactly happens to her in the end? It's a mystery...

Writing is a little like riding a roller coaster. It's a bumpy ride. We have super high highs and gut wrenching lows. On good days we feel like we are being blessed with divine inspiration and we're on top of the world. And then we come crashing back down! We're in the trenches. We have no time to write, no inspiration and the stuff we do write is crap. Or so we think...

On the bad days, and heck, even on the good days, it helps to know that other writers are out there experiencing similar roller coaster rides as us. Yes, we are each on our own writing roller coaster ride - it's a solitary job, after all, the job of the writer. But we are never alone.

I have found that most successful writers, the ones who have managed to stay on their roller coaster rides through all the ups and downs, these gurus are eager to help those of us who are just beginning our rides!

Some have learned how to overcome writers block, fit in time to write or write super fast (getting as many as 10,000 words a day! Oh my! If only!) Others have perfected their creativity, their writing, or developed new creative ways to edit their work. And some have mastered the world of publishing and marketing (The dirty, dirty marketing! Most new writers, like me, cringe at the thought of having to market our work!)

Since I started on my own slightly crazy writing roller coaster ride seven years ago, I've bought a lot of books, read a lot of articles, done a lot of Googling, listened to a lot of podcasts and watched a lot of webinars. I've discovered some really amazing writers along the way, people who truly inspired me and taught me a thing or two. I want to share the best of the best with you today.

Here are my 5 favorite writing gurus to follow:

Jeff Goins is a best selling author today but he doubted himself for a while. One day he decided to stop making excuses and go for his dreams. He's never looked back and now he wants to help others like him (and me!) overcome their fears and insecurities and just write!

I've seen Jeff speak on Facebook live video and webinars and listened to his podcasts and he continually impresses me. He is sincere, engaging and truly inspiring. Check out his website at Goinswriter. If you've dreamed of becoming a writer then Jeff will get you all fired up and ready to take on the world!

K.M Weiland is the award-winning, internationally published author of the Amazon bestsellers Outlining Your Novel and Structuring Your Novel, as well as Jane Eyre: The Writer’s Digest Annotated Classic, the western A Man Called Outlaw, the medieval epic Behold the Dawn, the portal fantasy Dreamlander, and the historical/dieselpunk adventure Storming.

I've read her books and dozens of her articles and listened to many of her podcasts on her award-winning blog Helping Writers Become Authors. K.M Weiland covers every aspect of writing from overall story structure to character development. She is a wonderful storyteller and a natural born teacher of the art of writing.

If you want to improve your craft, start reading K.M. Weiland's blog posts or listening to her podcasts.

Margie Lawson teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners. She has full day master classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and on cruises in the Caribbean. She also has multiple lecture packets and courses that you can purchase separately on her website at MargieLawson.com. I've purchased several of her lecture packets and I've been blown away with her editing system. I'd love to take her Caribbean master class (someday!) but for now I'll definitely be using what I've learned about her system in my future edits.

If you want to stop fearing the self-editing process, go to Margie's site and learn her deep editing system.

Bryan Hutchinson was told by teachers that he would never be a writer. He went on to prove them all wrong.

Don't you just love stories like that?

His work has been published in newspapers, national magazines, books, and blogs. He created Positive Writer for fellow writers like him who have an overwhelming desire to create work that matters. His articles provide inspiration, advice and encouragement.

If you want to prove the world wrong, as Bryan did, go to Bryan's site for inspiration!

Part memoir, part kick in the pants, Writer's Doubt is rated 5 stars by over 80 people on Amazon! Jeff Goins even recommends Bryan's book!

Derek Murphy is a writer and a book designer with a PhD in Literature. He has published multiple young adult stories on Amazon with rave reviews. On his blog Creative Indie he offers tips, tricks, advice, tools and courses to writers and artists to help make publishing and marketing easier and help indie creatives like him turn their passions into full-time businesses.

Derek is currently offering one lucky writer the chance to write their book in a castle with him. Check out his giveaway here: http://urbanepics.com/giveaways/2016-nanowrimo-castle/

He plans to do this type of contest every year. If you want to learn how to self publish and market your work, go check out Derek's site.

Your turn! Who are your favorite inspirational writing gurus? Comment below. I'm always eager to learn more from successful writers who haven't been thrown from the ride!

I looked in the mirror at my reflection for the third time. Ehhh. I poufed my hair a bit more with my brush and then sprayed my bangs with a bit more hairspray. That was it! I had to look perfect for tonight. It was my big 16th birthday and Hal was taking me out for dinner at a fancy restaurant, Ichaban, a popular sushi joint. I’d been looking forward to this big night for months; I’d even bought a new dress for the special occasion. Our first official date. Hal and I had seen each other a lot since we first met at the youth conference last summer – but it had always been in groups and mostly at church events. My parents had a strict rule about no dating until age 16. Not one on one dates anyway.

I had some time to spare so I grabbed my art book and pencil and picked up where I’d left off on a project I’d started a few weeks earlier – a montage of different women’s faces all blending into one another on the page. I really liked this drawing; in my humble opinion it was my best work so far. I felt inspired with all of the faces. I thumbed through all my previous drawings, starting with the stuff I had done as a child all the way to the newest montage. It was obvious how much I had improved over the years. I couldn’t wait to go to college to study art more intensely and even get into painting and sculpting too.

Mom knocked on my half open bedroom door. “Where’s Hal? Didn’t he say he would pick you up at 6?”

I glanced at my watch and was surprised to see that it was 6:10. I always lost track of time whenever I drew. “I’m sure he’ll be here any second.” I said putting away my artwork.

I went out to the front room. Pacing back and forth in front of the window, looking anxiously outside for approaching cars, I waited. “Where is he?” I mumbled to myself impatiently.

I looked at my watch again. It was 6:20 now. I really hated waiting. I was starting to get mad and I didn’t want to be mad on my birthday. This was supposed to be a good day! Hal was screwing it all up by being late!

Mom came into the room. “Still not here, honey?” she asked.

“No.” I replied with an unhappy sigh.

“I’m sure he’s just running late because he wants to look extra good for you tonight.” mom said, trying to cheer me up. “Maybe he stopped to get you flowers!”

I nodded. I stood at the front window with mom for a few more minutes, holding my breath each time I heard another car approaching.

Finally, I’d had it! “That’s it!  I’m calling over to his house.” I stormed off in the direction of the kitchen.

I grabbed the phone from its cradle on the kitchen wall and punched in Hal’s phone number. My grip on the phone tightened as I waited, listening to the ringing on the other line, twirling the phone cord anxiously around my finger, willing someone on the other end to pick up.

Just then mom shouted from the living room. “Liz! He’s here! He just pulled up!”
I slammed the phone back in the cradle and ran to the living room. Sure enough, Hal was meandering up to the front door and he had a huge bouquet of flowers. Tulips, my favorite! All of my anger instantly melted away at the sight of him.

I opened the door before he had a chance to ring the bell and wrapped my arms around him, smashing the bouquet of tulips in the process.

“You’re so sweet!” I whispered in his ear.

“Happy Birthday!” Hal whispered back and then kissed my cheek.

I reached for the flowers. “Thank you.” I inhaled their scent deeply. “They smell so good!”

Then I noticed that Hal was holding something else - a box wrapped in pretty pink paper with a big white bow on the top.

“What’s in the box?” I asked excitedly.

“It’s a surprise!” Hal teased. “You can’t open it until later tonight, after dinner!”

“Ahhh!” I pretended to pout. “Do I really have to wait?”

“Yes!” Hal insisted.

“Hi Hal.” Mom was standing at the door and dad had joined her there too. “Let me put the flowers in a vase with some water for you, sweetie,” mom offered.

I handed the flowers over to mom and Hal handed the box to dad. “Could you hold this here for later, Mr. Johnson?”

“Sure Hal.” Dad took the box.

“Let’s get a photo of you two!” mom said already producing the camera.

“Ahhh, mom!” I complained. I really hated getting my picture taken.

“Indulge your mother,” dad said.

I looked at Hal and rolled my eyes in mom’s direction. But Hal just put his arm around me for the pose and smiled big at the camera. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

Mom took several pictures before she let us leave. “You kids have a nice time!” she told us finally.

Hal grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Now come on! We’re going to be late for our dinner reservations!”

I grinned. I had completely forgotten about the fact that Hal had been late.

The restaurant was full of people. The lighting was low and romantic, little candles flickered at each table. The maître de led us to our table and then Hal pulled my chair out for me. He sat next to me instead of across from me. As we waited for our waiter to arrive Hal took my hands in his and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Liz,” he started, “You look amazing tonight!”

"Thanks." I couldn't help but blush at his compliment.

"I think I’m the luckiest guy in the world." Hal squeezed my hands.

“I’m the lucky one!” I told him.

“I love you!” he blurted out.

My eyes widened at his sudden announcement. And then I smiled. He’d hinted at saying he loved me before but this was the first time he was actually saying the words out loud to me! “I love you too!” I whispered. I had imagined telling him so a thousand times.

“Oh good!” Hal said, relaxing a bit. “I was afraid you might not say it back!”

I laughed and then kissed him. “That’s silly!” You know I’m crazy about you!”

“I know. I’ve just never told anyone I loved them before.” Hal admitted, “Besides my mom and dad that is!”

I laughed again. “Well I’m glad I’m your first!”

“And there’s my grandma and grandpa too.” He continued listing family members who he’d told he loved.

I playfully punched him in the arm.

“Let’s order! I’m starving!” I picked up my menu. It was hard to concentrate on the words though. I couldn’t believe we had just finally said that we loved each other! Tonight was turning out to be a dream come true.

Dinner consisted of my favorites: spicy tuny and salmon rolls and for dessert chocolate cake with ice cream and hot fudge sauce. The restaurant staff put a candle in it and sang Happy Birthday to me as I sat red faced and embarrassed. At the end of the meal, I was absolutely stuffed and as happy as could be.

“That could very well have been the best meal of my life!” I told Hal as we exited the restaurant. It was dark outside now.

“Good!” Hal laughed. “That was my goal!” He opened the car door for me.

“Such a gentleman!” I teased him as I slid into the seat.

Hal grinned as he shut the door. In a second he was sliding into his seat.

“Ok, Birthday Girl!” he said as he started the car, “It’s time to go home and open your surprise!”

“I can’t wait!” I waited a beat and then asked, “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, silly!” Hal chided me.

“I know!” I grinned over at him, “I just have to keep trying!”

Hal ginned back at me. “I’m not that easily broken!” he laughed. He started up the car and pulled out of the restaurant parking lot.

Hal turned the radio on and started to sing along to the music, trying to get me to join in with him. I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

“I have an idea! Let’s go park up at the summit.” Hal suggested seemingly out of the blue.

“Ok…” I was surprised. The summit was where guys and girls went to make out. Hal and I had certainly kissed before, but we’d never had a make out session! The butterflies in my stomach went crazy at the thought.

Hal made a turn at the next light and started heading in the direction of the summit instead of my house. He went back to singing along to the new song playing on the radio. I looked at him and smiled. I really was the lucky one!

Suddenly, Hal was illuminated by the headlights of another car. The car seemed to be coming at us fast, way too fast. It wasn’t slowing down! My stomach clenched as the realization hit me – we were about to be in a car crash. I tried to reach out and warn Hal but there was no time. The impact of the other car jerked my body viciously away from Hal. A strange sound escaped from my throat. In horror, I couldn’t seem to catch a breath. I watched helplessly as our car spun around and around in the middle of the intersection. Was this really happening?

As our car finally came to a stop, I tried moving, but couldn’t. I struggled to at least look in Hal’s direction, but I couldn’t even seem to move my head. My eyes widened with fear and confusion as a frightening thought came to my mind - I'm paralyzed! “Hal!” I tried to call out, but the sound that came out was more of a croak than a word. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Hal!”

Nothing. No answer from Hal.

I tried harder to turn my head. Painfully, little by little, I was able to turn enough to see Hal from out of the corner of my eye. He was slumped over the steering wheel. His side of the car looked very odd, crumpled and dented in. I couldn't see his eyes but blood was running down Hal's head to the steering wheel.

Starting to really panic, I looked outside for help, but saw nothing other than the car that had just hit us. It was also in the middle of the intersection, its headlights a spotlight on us, blinding me, turning the night into day. I couldn’t see into the car, I couldn’t see the other driver. Was he hurt too? Pinned in his car like we were?

I tried again to move my head, my hands, anything. But everything felt so heavy. I just couldn’t make my body work like normal. And then, I started feeling a dull ache in my left leg. The ache grew quickly into a sharp pain. I whimpered and tears came to my eyes. My breathing started to become ragged and uneven. I was hyperventilating, just like when I had gotten thrown in the lake last summer. The shock of what had just happened was too much. Mercifully, like in a dream, everything started to fade away. The pain, the fear, the bright lights all faded away. The night turned black again, the way it should be.

                                                                  ~~~~~~~
 
I knew I was drifting in and out of a dream. A nightmare more like it. Everything was fuzzy. Bright lights, screeching metal, pain, and blood. And then a man. He was laughing. He seemed to be crazy. He scared me. I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to get away. Far away. As fast as I could. But I couldn’t move. Soon the blackness took over again.

What seemed like days later, I heard a soothing voice, calling me from the blackness.  “Lizzzz…”

I wanted to answer to the voice, but my throat didn’t seem to be working. I groaned. Oh! So much pain!

“She’s coming to!” the voice said.

I tried to open my eyes but they felt welded shut. It took all of my effort to just crack them open a tiny bit.

The first thing I saw was a man in a white coat peering down at me. Next to him, a woman in a nurse’s uniform was busying checking me over. And then I noticed mom and dad, standing off to the side, eyes dark, lips pinched .

“Wha…” I tried to speak, to ask what was going on, but it came out as a croak. The nurse immediately poured a glass of water for me and put it to my lips.

“Drink this.” The nurse instructed.

I did as I was told. The water felt cool and soothing going down my dry throat. It was hard to swallow and I coughed, sputtering a couple of times.

“What’s happening?” I managed to get out after clearing my throat a few times. My throat hurt and my voice sounded raw and gruff.

“You were in an accident, sweetie,” mom said.  “But you’re going to be just fine,” she added quickly, trying her best to smile. “You have a few bumps and bruises...”

I tried to move, to sit up and take stock of myself but fresh pain shot through my body. I groaned and collapsed.

“She needs more pain killer!” mom insisted, looking frantically back and forth at both the doctor and the nurse.

The doctor nodded to the nurse and the nurse complied. I watched in a daze as she increased the dosage of the drip that I realized was attached to my arm. The pain dulled and I relaxed back into my pillow.

And then I thought of Hal. I had been with Hal. Driving. To the summit. “Where’s Hal?” I asked.

No one in the room replied. Instead they all exchanged nervous glances with each other. I felt alarm creeping in. Why were they looking at each other like that? Why wouldn’t they say anything?

“What?” I asked anxiously.

More silence and nervous looks.

“Just tell me!” I demanded, starting to get upset.

Mom sat herself down on the right side of my bed and took my hand gently in hers. She pursed her lips together, looked back at her father and then at me again. “I’m so sorry honey.” she started saying, and then she paused again. She pinched her eyes shut and grimaced and then opened her eyes, looking intently at me now. “Hal didn’t make it, sweetie. The other car hit his side of the car and with so much speed and force - he died instantly.”

“He didn’t suffer at all” the doctor said, as if that made it all ok.

I glared at the doctor. They had gotten it wrong somehow. I had just spent the best night of my life with Hal. How could he be gone if I was still here?

I looked at dad for help, but dad just nodded with tears welling up in his eyes. Dad never cried! He sat himself down in the chair next to my bed and stroked my hair, like he had done when I had been just a little girl. “I’m sorry Liz!” he whispered.

My anger and confusion built. And then I thought of the driver in the other car. This was all his fault!  “WHO was in the other car?” I demanded.

No one said anything again; they all continued to nervously glance at one another, unsure of how to proceed with me.

I started remembering bits and pieces of the accident, the lights and the blood, and hearing the cars colliding and the glass breaking. I balled my fists up tightly and clenched my teeth. The fury I was feeling was overwhelming. I looked for something to let my anger out on. I grabbed the half empty glass of water on the bedside table and threw it across the room. It crashed against the wall, the glass breaking into a million little pieces. Just the way my heart felt. I screamed and screamed and screamed. At no one and at everyone.

The doctor pulled out a needle then and stuck me with it.

“What the fuck?” I cried out.

“Liz!” My mother chastised me. “Watch your language!”

I wanted to tell her to fuck off but I felt overwhelmingly sleepy all of the sudden and I just couldn’t muster the energy to bother.

“Honey, you need to sleep.” The nurse told me, giving me an empathetic smile.

I wanted to tell her to fuck off too. But everything was fading fast.

Mom stroked my hair. “It will all be ok.” she said with a tear running down her cheek.  “You’ll see. Just give it some time.”

Then the tears started flowing, blurring my already fuzzy vision. “No!” I whimpered. And then I was out like a light.

                                                                ~~~~~~~
 
I woke sometime the next day, groggy and confused, not immediately remembering where I was or what had happened. But unfortunately it all came rushing back. And then came the tears. Lots and lots of tears.

I could barely manage to talk to anyone who came into the room. I barely ate anything. I retreated deeper and deeper inside my shell. I had encountered death only once before. When I was nine years old, I’d barely had my first and only puppy for a month when one day, as we played in the front yard, Scruffy took off chasing after a car driving down the street. I would never forget the way the poor puppy yelped and limped around afterwards. I had run inside yelling for my father who had quickly come outside, picked Scruffy up, placed him in a blanket in the car and then rushed the puppy off to the vet. I had just assumed that the vet would mend Scruffy’s broken bones. But then my father had come home without Scruffy and explained that Scruffy had been injured too severely and had died. I'd been absolutely heartbroken.

This was much, much worse.

I felt raw and broken and empty. I felt hopeless and lost. Nothing made sense anymore. I kept seeing images of Hal, laughing or smiling. I kept replaying how we met, all of our conversations, and our last time together. I just couldn’t believe he was gone! I kept thinking that he would walk into my hospital room at any minute and reassure me that it had all been a bad dream. But he didn’t come.

Somehow, I knew that this was all my fault. I turned to wondering how I could have kept this tragedy from happening. If he hadn’t taken me out for my birthday, he would still be here. If I had said no to going up to the summit, he would still be here.

The tears refused to stop no matter how hard I tried. I would just start to feel like I was getting myself under control and then the littlest thing would set me off again. With no warning I would just burst into tears. The nurse would come into my room whistling and I would fall apart. I pretty much cried all day every day for the 3 days that I was in the hospital.

When I finally got released from the hospital, I got home only to feel fresh new pain when I saw the surprise birthday gift from Hal, the box sat there on the kitchen counter, completely forgotten. It took a couple of days before I finally got up the nerve to open it. Inside the box sat a little homemade chocolate frosted birthday cake. It was a sad looking little cake, kind of sloppily made, but it said “Happy Birthday Liz! Love Hal” on the top. I knew that Hal had made it for me and it was priceless. I could never eat it.

The following days passed in a blur for me. The day of Hal’s funeral I decided that I wasn’t going to cry anymore. I’d cried enough tears for a lifetime in the past few days and I was sick of it. I was going to be a rock from now on. So I stood there at the grave site like a robot with my parents and watched as Hal’s casket was lowered into the ground.

I was still on heavy duty pain medication and using crutches to get around and I’d barely even been able to make it to the funeral. I had more than a few bumps and bruises from the crash. I’d gotten a concussion and my left leg was broken in two spots. I had to wear a giant cast. Oh, I’d had plenty of bumps and bruises all over my body too. Everyone told me how lucky I was. But all I could think about was how unlucky Hal had been. It just wasn’t right.

Hals parent’s stood on the other side of the grave. They never really looked at me.  Maybe they blamed me too. I could certainly understand that.

After the funeral was over, Laura sat with me in her car.

“Do you know how he first told me that he loved me?” I asked Laura, smiling at the memory.

Laura had heard the story before but she shook her head. “How?”

“Well, he told me at the restaurant that night,” I paused to take a breath and hold the tears back, “but that wasn’t really the first time. The first time was in a letter. You know how we used to write letters to each other all the time because we lived so far away?” Laura nodded. “Well, in this one letter, he signed off “Love, Hal” and then below that he wrote “P.S. You better!”

Laura laughed. “That’s so cute!”

“I know…” I grinned, thinking back. I reminisced in silence, my smile slowly fading.
“Hal was one of a kind.” I admitted. “I’ll never find anyone else like him ever again.”

“Don’t say that!” Laura tried to encourage me. “You’ll meet someone someday who will be completely different than Hal but special in his own way!” She patted my leg reassuringly. “You’ll fall in love again. I know you will.”

“I don’t know, Laura…” I trailed off. I couldn’t imagine it. “I feel like I’ve been cursed in love.”

Words have the power to jolt us out of the reality we have created for ourselves and wake us up to the truth. Case in point, I was watching The Shannara Chronicles the other night when something one of the characters said struck a nerve for me. If you haven't heard of The Shannara Chronicles yet you need to go check it out! It's a great new fantasy drama t.v. series on MTV (or Netflix in my case) based on the Shannara series of fantasy novels by Terry Brooks.

The wise druid said to the frightened young seer: "Nobody knows what you are capable of. Not even you."

I was stunned by these words. I felt like the wise druid's words were meant for me. I tuned out from the show for a minute. I couldn't stop thinking about his words. I repeated them over and over in my mind. I can clearly see the profound truth in his words and I have to admit his wise words are setting me free from my limited self thinking. At least for a little while. (Those negative thoughts always find a way to creep back in!)

I do not know what I am capable of.

I know I am not the only person who is guilty of listening to limiting self beliefs. I'm constantly telling myself that I'm not good enough, smart enough, powerful enough to do the things I dream of doing. My ego is probably trying to keep me safe by scaring me away from trying new things but it's really only hurting me by holding me back, keeping me from reaching my potential and stifling my creative nature.

Any time I've ever opened up and tried something new in life I've surprised myself. I went to college, got a B.A., an MBA and then took the CPA exams and passed them all on the first try. But I didn't do any of those things until my thirties because I scared myself out of doing it for so long. What would my life look like today if I had believed I could do it all earlier?

I was never the outdoorsy type until I moved to Hawaii and became friends with rock climbers. I finally decided to try rock climbing one day and instantly became obsessed with it! It was so fun! Sure, it was challenging but it was also incredibly rewarding. Climbing slowly but surely up a rock mountain, getting stronger and better and climbing harder and harder routes. Reaching the top of a route and looking down to see just how far you've come is one of the best feelings! Who knew I would love rock climbing so much? I wish I had discovered this sport much earlier in life!

For a long, long time I told myself that I wasn't good enough for love and romance. Until one day I finally decided that I was good enough and I started asking the universe to send me my true love. I wished, prayed and envisioned my true love every day for months. And then one day I met my future husband. Something magical occurred between us the first time we met. There was a spark, a recognition of a soul mate, a bond that grew and grew. What if I had believed I was good enough for love earlier in my life?

I always wanted to be a writer but I never actually tried to write an entire novel because it seemed too hard. I gave up time and time again. Until I had reached such a low point in my life in my late thirties that writing was the only way I could think of to start the healing process. I promised myself that I could and would finish my novel. It took several years but I never gave up and the result, Naupaka Blooming, was just published in April. Oh how I wish I had believed in myself earlier.

Lately I have been struggling with continuing to pursue my writing dreams. I have many ideas for novels, ideas that excite me! And I've started writing my next novel but I'm remembering that writing is truly hard work. It's no easier the second time around than it was the first time! I find myself questioning my abilities again.

But the wise druid words continue to repeat in my mind now.

I do not know what I am capable of. But I want to find out!

Since the night I heard his words, I've been able to envision new and exciting plot twists in my current work in progress and I've even come up with a whole new novel idea that I'm excited to tackle. The creative juices flow when I believe in myself.

So it's time to keep going, to do the work (one day at a time, one sentence at a time if that's what it takes!) and stop listening to my limiting self beliefs.

The sky's the limit for each one of us! You are the only one holding yourself back. Stop making up excuses. Open your mind, believe in yourself, push yourself and do the hard work to make your dreams come true. You have no idea what you are capable of!

What limiting self beliefs do you have about yourself?

I've experienced a lot of ups and downs over my 45 years here on this crazy planet and I've learned quite a lot along my journey! I've continually pushed myself and explored the world around me and I think that is the key in finding yourself and understanding the meaning of life.

No matter what, don't take anyone's word on anything, figure it out for yourself!

1. The only person you should compare yourself to is you.
2. Nothing is ever as big a deal as you think it is at the time.
3. What other people think of you doesn't matter.
4. Everybody fails. It's what you do after failure that matters.
5. Go with the flow.
6. Take nothing personally. Everyone is dealing with their own shit.
7. Let that shit go.
8. Trust your gut and your intuition.
9. Live in the moment. Forget about the past and don't worry about the future.
10. Don't worry, be happy.
11. Fake it till you make it!
12. Spend time outdoors in nature. Nature moves at a slower pace than we do. We need that in this fast paced world.
13. Wake up early. Sleeping in may feel good at the time but you'll be more alert, healthy and productive if you wake up early.
14. Eat healthy natural foods as much as possible but don't deny yourself treats.
15. Exercise even when you don't feel like it. You'll always be glad you did.
16. Make love not war. We are here to love each other, not kill each other.
17. Be kind to everyone. Even the mean people. You have no idea what demons people are battling.
18. Explore all that the world has to offer - travel, learn.
19. Keep an open mind. If history has taught us anything it is that people always think they know it all, but they are constantly proven wrong. Even now, we don't know it all! People 100 years from now will know much more than us and even then they will not know it all!
20. Live authentically and embrace who you are. Don't try to be what other people want you to be. You are important and valuable just the way you are.
21. Every human being is valuable. No one person is more valuable than anyone else.
22. Giving is better than taking.
23. Find time to laugh. Laughter really is the best medicine.
24. We can have more than one soul mate.
25. Natural is better than synthetic.
26. Friends and family and pets are what life is all about. Love in all its forms.
27. Start saving money when you are young. Save for a rainy day and save for retirement.
28. Material possessions are worthless. Don't obsess over having the latest, greatest and best of anything.
29. It's never too late to start over.
30. Think positively. What you think becomes your reality.
31. Don't live in your head. Your ego loves to tell stories that are simply not true. Let your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky.
32. Keep it simple stupid.
33. Life is cyclical. If things are going poorly for you, remember that things will change. And if things are going well for you, remember that things will change.
34. Look for the beauty in the little things in life - the way the sun shines through the clouds, the way a bird sings a song in the forest.
35. There really is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear will keep you from living an amazing life if you let it.
36. Let your kids be who they want to be and do what they want to do.
37. Don't try control everything. It's impossible.
38. Let go of anger as soon as you notice it. Anger hurts you more than the person you are angry with.
39. It's ok to be vulnerable. Don't put up walls. The only person you hurt with your walls is yourself.
40. Be ok with not being right.
41. Be open to constructive criticism. The only way to learn, grow and improve is listen to feedback.
42. Change is good. Change can be exciting. Change will happen whether you like it or not.
43. You can handle anything thrown at you. You have no idea how strong you are until your are tested. You are so strong!
44. There is no such thing as perfect. Just do your best.
45. Instead of trying to avoid pain, lean in to it. Feel it fully. Understand it. Learn from it. Then let it go.

Comment below with your life lessons!

California
Mid 1980’s

Hands were grabbing at me, pulling at my legs and arms and lifting me up off the ground. I tried to fight them off, my panic quickly rising. Despite my efforts, my body was swung backwards. I started to scream “Nooo!” but my scream died in my throat as I suddenly went airborne. I held my breath as I crashed into the frigid dark water. In shock, I sank deeper and deeper.

Finally fighting off the panic, I started thrashing around to stop my descent and then I began working my way back up. When I finally surfaced, I gulped desperately for air but ended up swallowing a mouthful of lake water instead. I started hyperventilating. I knew how to swim but I couldn’t seem to think straight.

“Someone help her!” I heard my friend Laura shouting angrily from the dock.

Laughter. From the boys who had just thrown me in the lake. Including my so-called boyfriend, Mike. We had just started hanging out a few weeks ago.

“Hey, grab onto me.” A really cute guy with brilliant blue eyes suddenly appeared in front of me. Treading water, he smiled and turned so that I could put my arms around him. He was confident in the water, unlike me.

I did as he instructed and held on tightly as he swam back to the shore with me.

Mike was waiting there. “Hey, no hard feelings. I was just trying to have some fun.” He put his arms out for a hug. I growled and pushed him away.

“I don’t think she had much fun, dude.” the cute guy who had just saved me spoke up.

Mike just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. The cute guy shook his head and turned back to me. “Are you ok?” he asked with a concerned look.

“Yeah.” I reassured him, still shaking and shivering and trying to get my breathing under control again.

“Yeah?" He nodded and smiled. “Hey, my name’s Hal.” He held his hand out for me to shake. He was wearing blue swim trunks. He was tall and skinny and had white blond cropped hair.

I took his hand and shook it as I continued to stare into his eyes. “Thanks.” I looked down and kicked at the dirt self-consciously. “I tend to freak out a bit in deep water.” I admitted.

Mike piped in again. "I tried to tell you it’s all in your head! I was just trying to help you get over it.” His friends all snickered.

That did it. Furious, I turned to Mike. I felt like one of those cartoon characters that has steam coming out of their ears when they get mad. “Throwing me in the lake is not what I’d call helping!” I yelled. I punched his arm as hard as I could, which really wasn’t very hard at all, and my hand just hurt from the effort. “Ugghh!” I shook my hand out. “We’re officially over. Asshole!” 

Everyone around us was staring. I hated being the center of attention. I turned and stormed off, my soaking wet Keds squishing loudly with each step. My friend Laura tried to follow but I pushed her away. I felt like fuming alone.

“Hey! Wait up!” Hal called out, chasing after me. “I didn’t get your name!”

“Oh!” I stopped, my anger melting a bit. I turned to Hal and managed a smile, “Sorry, I’m Liz.”

“Nice to meet you Liz.” Hal said cheerfully. “If it’s any consolation, I agree with you.”

“About what?” I asked, confused.

“About that guy being an asshole!” Hal swore a bit awkwardly, as if he wasn’t used to it.

I laughed. Swearing came much too easily for me. “Yeah, but he’ll get what’s coming to him.” I said confidently, nodding my head.

Hal tilted his head. “Are you going to get even with him? Get your friends to toss him in the lake when he least expects it?”

“No!” I laughed again, and then thought about Hal’s idea. “Although that does sound fun!”  But I shook my head. “You know, karma? What goes around comes around?” I looked expectantly at Hal, hoping he would agree with me. Not many people in my social circles believed in Karma like I did.

“Well…” Hal looked thoughtful before he replied. “I think it’s just better to forgive and forget. Jesus will be the one to judge us all someday.”

“Right…” I agreed halfheartedly, I had been raised to believe the same as Hal. But I liked the idea of Karma. Natural consequences to choices. If you do good things, then good things will happen to you. If you do bad things, then bad things will happen to you. Sooner or later.

“You look cold!” Hal held a towel out for me. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I took the towel and started with my hair. I had been fully clothed in shorts, a t-shirt and of course my Keds when Mike had thrown me in the lake.

“Maybe we should sit in the sun for a while to warm up.” Hal suggested.

I shrugged. I could probably hang out with him for a bit longer. I sat down next to him and took my wet shoes off.

Hal stretched out and accidentally, on purpose, brushed his leg against mine. “Oops!  Sorry!” he said with a big grin.

My heart raced at his flirtatious contact. This cute guy who had just saved my life was now totally hitting on me!  He was getting cuter and cuter by the minute!

We sat and talked for a while. It turned out that Hal was a year older than me, 16 years old, and he lived in Canyon Country, not too far from where I lived in Valencia. Of course we went to totally different high schools. But thank goodness we were both Mormons! We never would have met if we hadn’t both been attending this year’s Mormon youth conference at the lake. We had to attend the required religious classes every day of course, but there was also plenty of fun to be had too. Like at the lake today. Last summer we had all gone to Los Angeles and stayed in the dorms at UCLA for a week. That had been a lot of fun.

The more I sat and talked with Hal, looking into his beautiful blue eyes, the more I thought that this year might just be the best youth conference ever. Despite just getting thrown in the lake. Actually, now that I thought about it, getting thrown in the lake was turning out to be a good thing, since it led to meeting Hal.

“Isn’t this the perfect summer day?” Hal asked, looking around. He closed his eyes and smiled.

It was sunny and warm with just a light breeze blowing. The sky was a deep sapphire blue and there were just a few puffy clouds on the horizon. The calm lake reflected the blue of the sky. And in the background the mountains were a dazzling mix of green hues all blended together.

“It’s so perfect," I said, "it almost looks like a painting.”

Hal opened his eyes and nodded. He turned to me, “So what happened earlier? When you got thrown in the lake?” he finally asked me, now that I had calmed down. “You were really freaking out.”

“I can’t explain it…” I admitted. “I’ve always been afraid of deep water. I tend to hyperventilate every time I try to get in.”

“Really?” Hal asked curiously. “Did you have a bad experience once? I mean before today!" he added.

“No, not that I can remember.” I looked out at the lake and thought about it. “My grandma used to try to force me into the water when I was just a baby but I remember being scared to death, kicking and screaming and crying whenever she tried to make me get in.” I paused, wondering if I should admit my fears to Hal. I looked over at him again. He seemed genuinely interested. “I think the fish are scary and gross and I don’t want them to touch me!” I blurted.

Hal chuckled. “You know,” he grinned at me, “the fish are more afraid of you than you are of them.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” I grinned back. It was nothing I hadn’t heard before from others trying to be helpful. “I love swimming in pools.” I told him. “I’ve taken swimming and diving lessons since I was just a little kid.” I geared up to deliver my crafty one liner, “I might not like the fish in the lake, but I’m like a fish in a swimming pool.”

Hal laughed. “We’ll have to find you a swimming pool then.” He grinned at me again.

Oh boy, that grin was too much! I couldn’t help but grin right back at him. I silently congratulated myself for being clever. I really wanted to impress this cute guy.

Hal lay back, folded his arms up behind his head, closed his eyes and sighed. “The sun feels great!”

I copied him. “Yes it does.” I agreed.

A few minutes passed as we just simply lay there sun bathing in silence together.

“Hey!” Hal sat up and looked at me, “Let's take a walk!”

“Oh,” My heart raced at the idea. “Ok, sure.” I put my semi dry shoes back on.

Hal jumped up and held his hand out to me. I took his hand but instead of letting go of my hand once I was up, he locked his pinkie finger with my pinkie finger, and grinned, somewhat shyly this time. I grinned right back at him. We started walking, our arms swinging together in rhythm as we went, pinkie in pinkie.

We walked for a while, chatting about the youth conference, taking turns peaking shyly at one other. I couldn’t believe my luck! I was practically holding hands with Hal already! When we came upon a little grassy wooded area, Hal let go of my pinkie and plopped down in the grass under a tree. I sat next to him.

“So tell me everything I need to know about you!” he said.

“Ummm,” I thought about it and then started listing things off, “I’m a sophomore in high school, I like the color blue and my favorite foods are pizza and ice cream and I like to draw and I like to read.” I took a breath. “And I’m an only child!”

Hal laughed. “Well, I have two brothers and one sister and I’m a junior, I like the color green and Mexican food. And I like ice cream too!” he smiled. “And I love to play basketball and I’m on my way to becoming a computer genius.” he added proudly.

“Cool. What can you do on a computer?” Computers were a relatively new thing in my world. My parents were always the last to get the latest and greatest inventions like VCRs and Microwaves.

“Well, I can write programs and I can take a computer apart and then put it all back together again and I can upgrade a regular old computer to a super computer that will do almost anything you want it to do!” Hal said.

“Wow! That’s impressive. My parents just got a computer but I haven’t used it much yet.”

“So what do you want to be when you grow up?” he asked me.

“Well, I kind of want to be an artist.” I admitted. “All I’ve done so far is draw with pencil but I’m getting really good at it.”

“What do you like to draw?” he asked.

“People, mostly faces.”

“Interesting…” Hal nodded and then asked, “Why people?”

I thought about it. “Well, I guess it’s the eyes. I love drawing eyes.” I looked into Hals eyes again then. His eyes really were beautiful; I would have to draw him for sure. “It’s like you can see the soul through the eyes.” I thought maybe Hal had a beautiful soul. We studied each others eyes but the moment got to be a bit too intimate for me so I laughed nervously and changed the subject. “Anyway, my favorite artist is M.C. Escher. I love the detail that he brings to his drawings.”

“Oh yeah!” Hal nodded in agreement. “He’s that guy who drew the hands drawing themselves on the page of a drawing in the drawing.”

I laughed at his description. “Yeah, that’s him. My favorite drawing of his is the one of the lizards being drawn on the piece of paper that are coming to life and leaving the drawing to parade around the desktop.”

“Yeah, that's a good one.” Hal agreed.

“I want to be just like him, but with people as my subjects.”

“Sounds awesome. I can’t wait to see your drawings!” Hal nudged me playfully again.

I couldn’t wait to show him. “I’d love to be a famous artist someday!” I said daydreaming about it. “Have gallery shows and make enough money to have a house right on a beach somewhere.”

“You want to live near the ocean?" Hal asked. "I thought you were afraid of the ocean?"

“Yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, I know. I don’t want to actually get in the ocean but I sure do love looking at it. My great grandmother is pure Hawaiian and my grandmother is half Hawaiian and so my mom is like a quarter Hawaiian or something like that. I think that's where I get it from.”

“So you’re part Hawaiian, huh?” Hal studied me. “But you have blond hair!”

“I know! I don’t look it, my great grandpa was from Switzerland and then my grandpa was from Ireland and my dad’s family was all English. But yeah, I have that little bit of Hawaiian in my blood thanks to my great grandma.”

“That’s cool. Have you ever met your great grandma?”

“No, she still lives in Hawaii and my mom doesn’t talk about her much. I guess she still believes in the old Hawaiian ways, their gods and stuff.”

"Oh." Hal frowned at that. “My great grandparents were from Austria but they moved to America when they first got married.”

“Oh, Austria, huh? That’s cool.”

We sat in a comfortable silence again then, just looking out at the lake.

Hal started playing nervously with a stick he found lying next to him. Finally he blurted out, “I’m really glad I got to meet you.”

“Me too.” I admitted, and feeling shy, I had to look away.

Hal playfully nudged my shoulder with his shoulder. “I hope you’re not just trying to make that other guy jealous by hanging out with me.” He teased, still with that big grin on his face.

“Nope!” I smiled and nudged him back.

“Good!” Hal said, grinning even wider. "So, what else do I need to know about you?” he rubbed his chin. “Are you ticklish?”

“No!” I shook my head. Actually, I was very ticklish but I couldn’t let him know that! Being tickled was torture!

“Are you sure?” Hal asked, narrowing his eyes and giving me a sideways stare. He had a very mischievous look.

“Absolutely! I swear it.” I insisted, staring him down, hoping that he would drop the subject and move on.

“Let’s see, then, what else, what else?” Hal seemed to give up, changing the subject.

I relaxed a little, thinking I was safe. but then he surprised me by quickly turning on me, grabbing me by my waist and tickling me ruthlessly in just the right spots, making me laugh hysterically. We rolled around on the grass.

“Stop! That!” I managed to get out in between laughs.

Hal was laughing too. “Not ticklish, huh?” he teased me.

“Ok, fine!” I panted, out of breath from laughing so hard. Hal still held me in his arms. “I am ticklish! Are you happy?” His face was so close to mine. I could see every speck of blue in his eyes. It was kind of hard to get my breathing back under control with him so close.

“Your hair is really beautiful,” Hal said softly as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“Oh, thanks.” I blushed deeply at both the compliment and at the feel of his hands running through my hair. I was blessed with beautiful, thick, straight, long hair. It was a nice dark blonde color that easily got streaks of lighter blond from the sun. My hair was my favorite thing about myself.

“What about you?” I asked Hal. I gave him the same mischievous look he had just given me moments ago. “Are you ticklish?”

“Nope. Not at all.” Hal replied with a little half smile.

I doubted that and decided to test him too. I grabbed him and tried to tickle him.

Hal laughed, but not because he was ticklish. “Told ya!” he grinned at me in triumph.

“Oh sure!” I pouted. “That’s not fair!”

“How’s this for fair then?” Hal leaned in and  before I realized what was happening he kissed me on the lips.

My eyes popped wide open in surprise. That was my first kiss! I just had my first kiss! And it was really quite nice! I blushed fiercely again. “That’s pretty fair, I suppose…” I admitted. “I guess I might be able to forgive you…”

“Yeah?” Hal was grinning from ear to ear again. “Well maybe one more kiss will seal the deal…”

I nodded in agreement, desperately wanting to feel his lips on mine again.

He leaned in again, more slowly this time, watching my reaction as he kissed me. And this time he lingered, kissing me over and over again. “I definitely want to be completely forgiven.” he mumbled between kisses.

We rolled around in the grass kissing for what felt like hours.

By the time we decided to head back to the lake, I was so overcome with newfound passion for Hal that I could barely keep my balance. Luckily Hal held my hand and that helped steady me.

If you enjoyed this cut scene from Naupaka Blooming you should read the rest of the story!

I'll share another cut scene next week...  The Car Crash

There's nothing quite like getting lost in a good book.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
― James Baldwin

“Isn't it odd how much fatter a book gets when you've read it several times?" Mo had said..."As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar.”
― Cornelia Funke, Inkspell

“I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishing touches, maybe choose the roof style,park your own car out front. My imagination has always topped anything a movie could come up with. Case in point, those darned Harry Potter movies. That was so not what that part-Veela-chick, Fleur Delacour, looked like.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

“A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.”
― Robertson Davies

Do you have any favorite quotes about reading? Share them now in the comments below!

I've always loved the written word. Each book I've read (and I've read a lot!) has changed me in some small or large way. Writing is a way to make a mark in the world, be heard, take a stand. Ever since grade school I've heard the call to become a writer. I shrugged it off for a long time but it got to the point where I could no longer deny it. And I'm so glad I finally listened and started writing! I feel a release of pressure, a lightening of my load when I write.

Here are 15 of my favorite quotes from famous writers about writing (in no particular order).

I agree with every one of them!

It's as fun for me to look at pictures of the great writers as it is to read their famous quotes! They are each so different and fascinating in their own way. You can really see their personalities in the way they pose for the camera, whether they choose to smile or not, the way they tilt their head or the way their eyes twinkle.

Anyone can be a writer! And the world needs diversity now more than ever. So if you feel the pull to write, if you have a story to tell then get to it! Don't let anything hold you back.

Who are your favorite writers? What are your favorite quotes about writing? Comment below!